Eleven years ago, after a 50-year marriage, I entered a new chapter of life with a very different title. No longer a wife; I became a widow.
I was 74 at the time and still playing tennis. I had energy. I had spunk. On a trip to the Cayman Islands with my children and grandchildren, I too, swam with the dolphins.
But after a lengthy period of mourning for my beloved, I was itching for something more. A boyfriend perhaps or a really nice dinner date would do. But first I had to learn the rules oflate-in-life dating.
At a certain age, I learned that it’s perfectly acceptable for a lady to ask a gentleman for a dinner date, especially if she can drive and he no longer can. These days, going Dutch is also fine; especially if both are living on fixed incomes.
Looking back on my years of senior dating, I’d like to share some of my good, bad and even a few of my very humorous experiences.
I met a few prospects on senior Internet dating sites, some the widowers of deceased friends. One guy I dated was a classmate from high school with whom I met up after many decades. If nothing else, they were an eclectic group of guys.
First, there was Cheap Bob. He considered going to Wendy’s a perfectly acceptable first-time dinner date. Then there was “Never Shut Up’’ Frank. He talked non-stop about himself. I had a tough time keeping awake!
Then there was the guy I called Deaf Man because he never heard a word I said. Looking back, I wonder if he really couldn’t hear me, or like some men I know, he only heard when he wanted to hear.
And the most accurate label was for a man who thought he could drive at night. His vision was so impaired that he was a danger on the road. I labeled him Near Death, and I only went out with him once. One could argue that this man was truly a “blind date.’’
I consider all the men I dated in my early years of widowhood as the training wheels for the relationship I now have with the most kind and caring man.
Phil just turned 88. I’m 85. We’ve been dating for four years. Yup, we met on an Internet dating site. (It was a lucky gamble.) Presently, we both live in our own homes. This is called LAT or living apart together. However, we do spend as much time as possible with each other.
For more information on what dating later in life is really like, from AARP, CLICK HERE.
